I Was Told I'd Have To Leave My Home...

I was told I'd have to leave my home.  I was told to quickly grab only the stuff that I could fit into our car.  I grabbed suitcases and frantically started throwing things in to them and, although I have packed for hundreds, if not thousands, of trips, I no longer knew what I should pack.  Would we be homeless for 1 week or 6?  Would we have access to laundry?  Food?  A store?  


I didn't care.  


It was time.


There was a baby boy waiting in Ohio for us and we couldn't get to him soon enough.  


Now, here I am, on a hotel bed, typing about the baby boy that is sleeping next to me.  Jonny, Scarlett and I drove the 6 hours, from Nashville 12 days ago, to meet this little guy and as soon as we breathed him in we were knit together with him.  We crave being with him (despite the fact that he as been within arms reach of me since night one, 12 days ago).  Jonny and Scarlett had to return home last Monday and these past 5 days have been Mr. Tiny and I introducing ourselves to one another.


This is the language that we speak:





Eye Contact/Searching










and More Laughter


I call his name and he turns and smiles at me.  

He cries and reaches for me in the night and I draw him in close, whispering, "I am here tiny one."

I weep over him.

I laugh out loud at the outrageous joy he brings exploding into my chest.

We FaceTime with Jonny and Scarlett and he kicks and laughs and screams and arm flails, all with a smile that says, "I know you!  I want you!"

We want to get home!




Here is where our now is.  This hotel, away from our other family half, is where we live until the states (Ohio and Tennessee) say we can go home home.  Yesterday we were told that it looks like it will be another 2 1/2 weeks of hotel living.  Ugghhh!  I want to bring him home!  BUT, he is worth the wait.  The wait, until we can hold him up high before our community and friends and say, "Here he is!  Isn't he amazing?!!  Doesn't he make your heart burst?  Let me tell you all about my son."


You have been along for this up and down journey of adoption with my family and ohhhh do we thank you.  You have helped raise us up and support our weary steps when it became soooo hard and tiring and seemingly hopeless.  When it seemed that tears were the child that we brought into our home.  


But not anymore.  


I wrote a song a few years ago with a lyric that says, "Laughter comes upon us like its lightening, striking without wind or cloud or change.  I knew that if I’m with Him it’d be this way.  ‘Cause promises are promises to Him"  


Introducing this laughter lightning that has come crashing into our family:


He turned 7 months Oct. 7th, the day after he came into our family.  He is a giggly ball of smiles, eyelashes, slobbery kisses, knuckle dimples, excited jabber and snuggles.  We will spend weeks more in a hotel as the adoption paperwork finalizes but soon, soon, soon he will call Tennessee home.  


I know that I haven't fulfilled the Kickstarter yet, I am unbelievably sorry for that but sitting in the studio and singing the songs after Ruby died became unbearable.  Songs that should have sounded like hope was underneath them, instead sounded like they were sung through tears.  To be honest, the vocals are all that is lacking.  It is entirely my fault.  Again I am sorry.  I WILL get those songs finished and you will hear my smiles as they are sung.


But, if you can bear to forgive me, if you can bear to go a step beyond forgiveness and help again, then can you please?  


With the out of state adoption, multiple lawyers needed and the extremely extended hotel stay, the adoption has doubled what we anticipated it costing.  This time I am asking for your financial help and saying that I have nothing to give you to repay you.  As hard as that is for me to admit, this is the story that has become our reality.  The only repayment I can give you is my deep deep deep heartfelt thanks and more Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter pictures of this little guy and our Family than you could possibly ever want.  Then, if we ever see you on the road, I will probably give you a big weeping bear hug as well.  


Jonny has set up this You Caring page where you can go to help, here:  Help Bring This Baby Boy Home!


We have great love for you, our friends and community and our loved ones.  You have held up our family, aching for this arrival, and he is here!  

With fireworks in our chests we thank you,

Sarah, Jonny, Scarlett, and Tiny Man Mac



Posted on October 18, 2014 .