I signed up for Facebook a few years ago and found myself jumping headlong into the blackhole/party that is The Facebook. Back in the beginning I enjoyed finding my family and friends (some I didn't find so I encouraged them to sign up so we could send witty remarks to and from each other for the world to see). I have started noticing, though, that in the last 6 months or so I have been getting more and more friend requests from people I knew in high school. Wow, I keep thinking. You remember me? You went looking for me and found me on Facebook? Weird. I barely remember myself from high school. Here are the things I do remember though:
1. Braces- Maybe I should go back a little further and say "Huge overbite and a smile that I covered with my hands when I laughed." Yep. Full blown braces, head-gear, upper expander, etc. I still have little prayers of thankfulness that I pray for my parents for the braces they scrimped and scraped so that I could have a straight smile.
2. Track and Field- I always thought my height would make me a basketball player but I can remember with fondness the time spent outside on the track, running and running and running. Basketball was no longer an option, all I wanted to do was run.
3. Emo- When I was in high school the term Emo was being reinvented with kids emulating bands like Nirvana, Sunny Day Real Estate, Fugazi and Green Day. I was the girl who never wore her hair down but kept it tied back at the nape of my neck while parted on the side in a very emo non-girlie style. I still laugh a bit about my attempts to keep up with which bands were cool at the moment and who had sold out, making them no longer cool. Me thinking, "Is Green Day still my favorite band or are they uncool and I hate them because they sold out and are actually making money now?"
4. Learning- Oh it makes me happy to think about the time I was able to spend in the library doing research. This was before everyone had a computer at hand and the internet to scour. I'm talking research in actual books. Piling them up on my table and pouring over them for a bit of information that I would scrawl onto an index card.
5. Friends- Here is where I get a bit fuzzy. I remember faces and names but, sheesh, I must've been aloof( I guess not everyone was hanging out with me in the library) because I don't remember super close relationships with very many. There were a few of course but this leads me back to why I started writing this blog, I am surprised anyone actually remembers me.
As I started to think about what I wanted to write in this blog I was reminded about the unfortunate reality of my spiritual life in high school. I was not the girl who carried a bible to school. I did not talk openly about my beliefs. In fact, looking back, I wouldn't doubt if some of the people who have found me on Facebook see my posts and think "Whoa! She is a Christian? I never knew that." It was different with the friends I had at my church, though. I still have close relationships with some of the girls I've known from a very early age at my church. But it still makes me sick to my stomach to think about how much I held back from talking about what was supposed to be the most important thing in my life to those who I spent 5 days a week with in school. Christ. Salvation. Rescue. Comfort. Joy. Life. Maybe this is why I am fuzzy about the friendships I had in school. How could I have had deep personal relationships with the kids at my school if I couldn't muster up the words to talk about what was deep and personal in my life?
So, I sit here and think about how much my relationship with the Lord has changed since high school. I've gone from knowing about God to knowing God. I have gone from talking very little about Him to making my life be one that is constantly telling people about who He is. What caused the big change in me? At one point I caught the scent of something. It was something that had been hinted at and I finally followed the aromatic trail back and found the source. I found a real Jesus. Not just something that I had been told about and hid because I didn't fully understand it but a real Jesus, Savior.
So now I know who I am. In high school, not so much but, hey I don't think anyone knew who they were in high school. Now, if you find me on Facebook I have something I want to share with you...
What are some things you remember about high school? Below is a shot of a friend of mine (that I still know) and he just posted this lovely photo of the two of us on his Facebook page. I asked, and he agreed, that I could post it here so I could show you what I looked like in high school. Notice the pulled back hair. Yep, that was my staple hairstyle. This was taken about 3 months before I graduated. Thanks for the photo Darren!