This last Christmas, 2009, I was asked to speak and sing at Horizon Christian Fellowship's Women's Tea. I have lead worship and done special music for many women's teas but I have never been the speaker before. This was something I was extremely nervous about. I spent months preparing and deciding what I felt like I was supposed to speak on and finally decided that I should tell my testimony. Now I know what you may be thinking...her testimony? That sounds pretty normal and shouldn't be too hard. Well, I'm not talking about my "I got saved when I was 9 years old," testimony or my "I backslid in high school and came back to the Lord during my senior year," testimony. I'm talking about the "here is what God has done in my life recently. Here is my current testimony." Imagine if King David had gotten stuck on his battle with Goliath. Obviously that was a huge moment in his life and an amazing testimony to what God had done but it wasn't going to stop there. He would grow, rise, fall and see God work and do huge things throughout his life so his testimony would also grow and change and show an active current God. This is what I wanted to do. I wanted to show an active, current, present God in my life. Since my life is often told in song I decided to share the stories of the past few years up till the present that lead to the writing of a few of my songs. I told of the trials and the joys, the pain and the smiles and I sang the songs that I wrote to reflect that. As I prepared for this event I knew that I needed one more song. Not because I was worried about filling up a certain time slot but because I knew there was something more I needed to say. I thought, who am I trying to reach out to? what woman will be coming that night and what are the words she will need to hear me sing? What words will she need to sing? These are the women I wrote my song for: 1. The woman who has trials going on in her life that are huge and overwhelming. They are things that she can't wrap her brain around to see how to function with something like it going on. They are the things that make everything else look dull and minimal in comparison. These may be things that she shares with the people around her or these may be things that are kept as secrets and she feels she is unable to share with anyone.
2. The woman who fears that her life/her problems don’t matter to the Lord. She thinks she is unimportant to Him therefore she needs to take care of herself and her problems on her own. I read a quote one time that talks about how oftentimes we believe that God inhabited the past and He inhabits the future but we currently live in a sort of temporary atheism where we are alone. This woman is living in a world where she is alone.
3. The woman who has never trusted anything to the Lord including her own life. She who is holding on to her life as if she can possibly change the inevitable outcome of death that every person will face. She is the woman who refuses to think about the fact that one day her body will be finished and she will ignore it because she is afraid of what a life of belief in God might be.
My message that night spoke on the fact that a life entrusted wholly to the Lord is a life of the same trials, the same heartache, the same stresses, the same storms that everyone experiences BUT the difference will be that your life will inhabit a God who heals, who comforts, who brings peace and hope and fulfillment through Him among many other things. We have a refuge and a hope in Jesus. We can come and crumple at his feet laying every burden down before Him and He is faithful to carry those burdens for us. He is a God that we can hide in when the storms are blowing out of control and we don’t have to go looking for Him for help. He is right here, right now.
It is with all of this in mind that I wrote my song "Hiding Place." I am attaching a video of me singing it at Horizon in San Diego a couple of days ago and the lyrics are below. For more thoughts like these you can also read my blog called "He Makes All Things Right" at http://wp.me/pNs7T-1y.
Verse 1: There in the dark you see me Hidden from all You say my name You know and You see How I have cried and crumpled There at Your feet To soak You in Where You surround me
Pre-Chorus: I’ll, I’ll close my eyes to things they are pulling, pulling on me and then, then I’ll find breath the breath and I’ll say
Chorus: You are my hiding place
Verse 2: Close with Your arms around me Though it is dark I know You’re near Your thoughts are of me Words from my heart have found their way to Your mouth I know you sing You’re prayers are for me
Verse 3: There in the dark you see me Hidden from all You say my name You know and You see