Sarah Mac

No one has your voice when it comes to worship. No one else can take your place. It is one thing that no one else can do for you. So when you are thinking you are going to come to church and kick back and relax and let someone else (perhaps the person on stage who is looking awfully energetic anyway) do your worshipping and singing for you remember that you are creating a void. A void so vast that as Luke 19:40 says “If we keep silent, the stones would cry out”(paraphrase mine).

I was out of town this weekend and my husband and I were texting frequently about what was going on at home and what my 2 year old daughter was up to. I would have been suspicious if my husband said “oh by the way, Scarlett loves you and she wants you to know that she thinks you are the best mom and she was telling me that she can’t wait to see you tomorrow and she has been telling me all day how she loves the way you take care of her and love her….” First of all my daughter doesn’t have quite that kind of vocabulary. I would immediately know that those weren’t her words. I would also be thinking “how does he know this? did she tell him? why didn’t she tell me herself?” When I arrived home the best thing happened though, Scarlett’s face lit up and she screamed “Mama!” with great pointing and waving and kicking and smiling and laughter and hands on her huge open excited mouth. Her expression of her love for me was beyond anything my husband could’ve said for her. It was her own. It was genuine and spontaneous and honest.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and I’m thankful that I have such a clear picture, through my daughter, of what worship to a Heavenly Father that we love should look like. Is this similar to what your worship looks like? Think about that. Is it honest and spontaneous or contrived and forced? If we truly knew Him I don’t know how we could respond without worship. Real worship. Take a bit of time today to learn something else about Jesus. It’s only in this way that you will recognize Him when He walks through your door.

PS- If there are misspellings or is any bad grammar in this post it’s only because I am not proofreading it. My daughter is coming and asking for my hand to go play and I can’t resist

There have been so many times that I have heard people say they were “burned by the church.” Many of those people eventually left the church and abandoned their faith with the blame all on “the church”. Today I was running and thinking (as usual) and reflecting on something that a guy named Levi Lusko said in one of his messages. He was speaking about how our lives are either a good reflection of the original (being Christ) or a bad reflection. I have blogged about this before in my “high fi vs. lo fi ” blog. I found myself unwinding that thought even further and came to the conclusion that the church, whether an actual church in your city that you attend or the church as the entire body of christians in the world or the church as in a christian friend you know, is only a reflection of the original. Now I know this thought is not original but I was hoping I could maybe give a visual for it to help it sink in a little better. There is a little song by a band named U2 called “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” Now this song/band may not be your cup of tea but imagine with me that it is one of your all time favorite songs (like it is mine). Now imagine that you are in the studio where they recorded it and are listening to it for the first time on some big amazing studio speakers. It would sound amazing. Those guitar parts would be clear. The bass would be beating in your chest. Bono’s “going for it” vocal would feel like he was singing it right there in front of you. It would probably sound nearest to the real deal. Now imagine you are in your great great granny’s Ford Pinto with only AM radio and a tiny speaker buried under the kleenex box in the back . On comes the U2 song and ugh! It sounds terrible. Wasn’t there bass in that track? Why do the drums sound like they were played on the kleenex box? Now what if we blamed the quality of the band on granny’s speakers? U2 is the same great band whether we hear their music on $5000 studio speakers or in our ipod earbuds. Nothing about the band changes. So why would we blame and turn away from Christ based on the speakers we hear his message through. If you think that something is wrong or amiss about your church then find a new church but don’t think that the original is wrong or amiss. And when you decide that because you were burned by the church you will create your own “spiritual journey” remember you are a speaker for what you are preaching. You the liar, you the hypocrite, you the backstabber, you the gossiper, you the cheater, you the imperfect. In fact you are just like that church who burned you. You are a sinner. You are an imperfect speaker. So, learn about who Christ is and what He teaches. Find a church that helps you do this. Dig deep because the more you know about Him the better the reflection and sound you will be for those listening around you.

The other day, my husband and I watched our daughter play for the first time with the water hose. Her joy and awe of this amazing “toy” was communicated through squeals of delight and clapping and laughing. She kept laughing and saying “Mama! Wawa!” “Dada! WAWA!” She had to make sure we were understanding and seeing the amazingness that was cold water from a water hose on a hot summer day. As she threw it around and then screamed as it fell on her upturned face Jonny mentioned that this is one of those days that implants itself into a child’s memory. Although she is only 2 she will remember this day in the sun and water for a long time. The more I thought about it the more I thought about my own childhood. Oh the wonderful memories I have. Catching frogs with my older brother Josh and then naming the frogs, writing their names with markers on their bumpy frog backs and finally making houses out of sticks to keep them in overnight. Now obviously the frogs were never there the next day (in fact they probably hopped out as soon as we turned our backs to go inside for dinner) but this never deterred us from believing eventually it would and trying again. I also remember the spring break when my friends were taking ski trips and beach trips. Our family of 6 just didn’t have the money for a trip so my parents improvised. They sought out the most fun activities in our city and we spent one day on each activity then at night when my friends were probably spending time at a fancy restaurant with their families my mom and dad gathered some friends of ours and my parents decorated our house like a mexican restaurant, set up tables in the living room, dressed up like mexican servers(not hard for my mom who is mexican but hard for my dad who is 6′ 6″ and very caucasian-his drawn on mustache helped) and they served us a wonderful homemade mexican dinner. I have so many memories like this that it all lumps together and has formed 1 huge memory…the memory of a wonderfully loved happy childhood. I don’t remember the stresses that I now as an adult know my parents probably had. I don’t remember any tiredness in their eyes when we woke them early on Christmas morning. I don’t remember being without. I was a child who’s heart was continuously being filled by parents that loved me.

So this is my aim for my daughter. Not that she will have isolated memories of joy but that there will be so much love and fun and joy that her childhood will blur together as one overall feeling of happiness. That she won’t remember the tiredness in my eyes when she woke us this morning but instead the smile on my face as she crawled into bed and yelled “timber” as she fell on me.

Phillipians 4:8
8. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Spending many hours in the studio lately since I’m recording a new cd. Thought I would give you a little peek into my home away from home(it’s not really “away” because it is actually part of my house .

This is the lounge where I am actually sitting right now typing this blog

This is my vocal booth where the magic happens(or sometimes just doesn’t happen).

My husband Jonny MacIntosh with his precious musical surgeon’s tools.

The view.

I’m back. It feels like I’ve been gone from the blogging world for weeks and in fact my last blog was almost 2 weeks ago. I’m a slacker but a slacker with a good excuse. I went into nature. My husband and I packed up our baby girl and met my family in the Colorado mountains for a week of camping/fishing/hiking/campfiring etc. Although I was “roughing” it by not being able to blog because I was sans computer I still had many a blogs being written in my head. I will let the first of those pour out now:

Penguins

In 2005 I watched a movie called “March of the Penguins” that describes the yearly journey of emperor penguins in Antarctica. The movie had a lasting impact on me for a number of reasons and has garnered many hours of reflection because of the inborn nature of these mysterious animals. During the breeding season for these particular penguins, the females lay 1 egg and hand it over to the father while she trudges over 60 miles back to the closest open water for food. At the point of laying the egg the female will have been without food for 2 months and will have lost 1/3 of her body weight. While the female is away getting food for herself and the unborn chick the fathers sole job becomes protecting the egg from the -79 degree weather. The father penguins then keep the eggs on their feet close to their body for 2 months all huddling together for warmth while the females are gone. Finally when the females come back they switch and the males get to return to the water, which is now 70 miles away, for their own food because at this point the males penguins have been without food for 4 months and have lost 1/2 their body weight. It is just before this transition that the eggs hatch OR don’t hatch. It is when the father is his weakest that he waits to see if that egg cracks open and there is life there and all their hard work had been enough.

Now don’t laugh but, I was sucked into watching “Happy Feet” with my daughter the other day and it is a cartoon movie about a dancing penguin. At the very beginning of the movie the father penguins are all looking down waiting for their eggs to hatch. One penguin is waiting and waiting and I couldn’t help but thinking “You better hatch! Look at all that work he did. Oh please hatch!” I couldn’t bear the loss and grief that the penguin would feel. Well the chick does in fact hatch in this kids movie, of course, but in real life many don’t. I got teary thinking about it and later wondered why.

I am in the process of recording a new record. I have HUGE amounts of time and HUGE amounts of our already very little money and HUGE amounts of my heart and HUGE amounts of our resources and just HUGE amounts of me invested into what will be a few tracks on someones ipod. What is hitting me the hardest though is even after all of the work that goes into it I will one day have to sit and watch and wait for that egg to hatch. Will there be life in this cd? Will it walk out among other people and bring life? My focus…HUGE amounts of prayer. I am contributing my part and, although I tend to shy away from asking for prayer, here I go anyway…could you pray with me?

Genesis 2:7 says
“7 Then the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.”

Pray that the Lord will breath the breath of life into these songs and this record so that they may live and have purpose. I thank you already

So a couple of days ago I posted a “wee little poll ” to see what people’s thoughts are on christian music. Most of the results were not really shocking to me but a couple of the results made me wonder. I am going to list the results below where they stand right now and then give you my answers and a little feedback…Here we go…

Question #1
Do you listen to christian music?
70% said yes
13% said sometimes
1% said no

-As for me I answered yes. Although San Diego is notorious for bad christian radio reception I don’t think I would listen to the christian radio station anyway. Most of the best christian music isn’t played on the radio and never will be so I stick to the christian music I buy (John Mark McMillan, Hillsong United, etc.)

Question #2
How much christian music do you own?
65.43% said 20+ CDs
20.99% said 10-19 CDs
13.58% said 1-9 CDs
0% said None

-I have 22 christian CDs. What’s most interesting about this number to me is that while 22 CDs equals about 220-250 songs I have a total of 4000 songs in my itunes. That means that christian music is only 1/16th of my music collection.

Question #3
Do you think christian music quality is as good as non-christian (mainstream) music?
46.25% said Yes
43.75% said No
10% said they are Equal

-I answered no and found these results as a little of a shock. Especially when you know that a christian music budget to record a cd is anywhere from $25,000-$75,000 and to record one of the well known non-christian mainstream records record labels could spend over a million dollars.

Question #4
Who is the the best christian band of all time?
29.67% said Other
20.88% said Switchfoot
15.38% said Hillsong United
10.99% said Delirious?
10.99% said Michael W. Smith
8.79% said Jars of Clay
2.2% said Mercy Me
1.1% said Third Day

-For this answer I chose Delirious. Out of all of the bands that I listed Delirious is the only band that has hugely impacted the christian pop/rock and worship communities. Their songs are being sung around the world in churches as well as being able to deliver creative christian music. Some of the “Other” bands that were written in for the 29.67% of voters were:

Leeland
Hawk Nelson
David Crowder
Stryper
Keith Green
Rich Mullins
and one vote for Sarah MacIntosh (thanks mom!)

Question #5
If you had to listen to only one of these two bands for the rest of your life, who would you choose?
52.63% said Mercy Me
47.37% said The Beatles

-These results were the most shocking to me. I chose The Beatles and thought that the results would be a landslide but in fact as you can see Mercy Me came out on top. My husband said perhaps it shows that most of the voters are in a new generation that is too young for The Beatles but maybe people just love Mercy Me. Way to go Texas boys.

Question #6
In what area do you think christian music needs to improve?
36.89% said Originality
21.31% said Creativity
17.21% said Content (lyrical depth)
13.93% said Musicianship
6.56% said Other
4.1% said None

-I chose Originality but quickly realized that I should have had an option for “all of the above.” A few of the “Other” voter’s did list “all of the above” as their write in.

So, are these the answers you expected? Let me know your thoughts and feel free to continue to vote if you haven’t already or send the link to your friends so that they can vote. I will post any major changes that happen. Well done you guys and thanks so much for your honesty!

The other day I wrote a blog called “Does Music+Saying Jesus=Good Music?” and received a great number of responses via messaging, texting, commenting, etc. It got me to thinking that I would like to know a few things about you guys. I know where I am as a music listener/christian but I don’t know where the majority of the rest of you stand and I don’t want to assume everyone is like me. So here’s the deal…answer the questions below HONESTLY and feel free to forward this blog or retweet to anyone and everyone because the more people that answer the better picture we will have. This way we will be able to get an idea of where the average music listener stands when it comes to christian music. Alrighty…let’s go…

high fidelity-the reproduction of an effect (as sound or an image) that is very faithful to the original.

low fidelity-a sound recording which contains technical flaws such as distortion, hum, or background noise, or limited frequency response.

Today while I was running I listened to a message by a guy named Levi Lusko (which was quite good by the way) and he mentioned the terms hi fi and lo fi in his message in relation to “hearing” the word of God. Now as usual, anytime I hear something that is interesting I start to day dream about it. I started to think about some of my favorite bands or songs that I have loved partly because of the lo fi recording and then some of those songs or bands that record that are a waste of great talent because of the lo fi recording. There are things that I know (partly because my husband is a walking encyclopedia of record making and production equipment and every now and then I hear him talking about a mic or pre amp etc.) about music equipment that helps me record or be heard in the way that most flatters or best represents my voice. There are mics that I know will pick up the frequency that my voice is the best and then there are those mics that make me sound like I am singing on AM radio. Now for a little bit of info into this world here is the low down. We will stick to microphones as the example. When I am recording my vocals on a cd I choose a microphone that is built for handling the frequencies of a vocal as well as shutting out and not picking up the other noises in the room(for instance my voice bouncing off the wall behind it). When this is done well the listener can best hear my voice, on the recording, sounding most like it actually does. When it is the wrong mic or a lo fi mic and isn’t done well you will hear other things in the recording distorting or masking or distracting from the actual tone of my voice. Now sometimes this is done on purpose for a cool effect but sometimes it is done because the person recording just doesn’t know what they are doing or how to get the best result. Here is where I am going with this…If we look at our lives as christians, and look at the definition of christian: one who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ, are our professions being heard as hi fi or lo fi? Are we giving an accurate most faithful to the original display of the glory of the Lord that 2 Corinthians 3:18 talks about

“18 So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”

or are we living our christians lives in a lo fi way that is displaying a little bit of Christ along with a whole lot of our selves and our distractions. Are we saying “I believe that He came to die for my sin so that I can live my life free from its hold on me” but then turning around every friday night and partying like that is the place my hope and joy is found? Or living a life so filled with lust or greed or anger that these things distract and distort what I claim to believe? When I live my life I want people to see the most accurate example of who Christ is. I want my life to be a hi fi quality representation of what it means to be a christian. For a final thought, I write these blogs many times just as much for myself as for anyone else. I am writing this one today because I know that there are things in my life that are in conflict with what I claim to believe, and I know that this will probably always be the case, but in acknowledging and addressing them I can hopefully step past them and not let them distort or distract or dilute any longer.

The other day I bought a new christian cd because someone I respect said I should. I headed out for a run and a listen. Now my runs are usually 3-6 miles of hilly-ness and the biggest hill I tackle first in order to get it out of the way. I go 1/2 a mile down and then run 1/2 a mile back up and when I say up, I mean UP! This day started out no different but by the time I got back up the hill I was mad. So upset in fact that I turned myself back around and ran the hill again. Here I was again, one second hopeful and the next disappointed. My husband Jonathan warned me to not be so optimistic before I headed out the door but that only seemed to make me want to be more hopeful. Those hopes came crashing down accompanied by sweat and lung ache. Here was another cd of christian musicians trying too hard to be cool and as a result coming off as frauds. I think christian musicians/songwriters etc. are divided into a few groups, let’s say 3. On one side there are those who work within the machine that christian radio has built, then there are those who abandon that machine and find a home in mainstream music by cleverly cloaking their faith based lyrics so that the general public will still listen, and finally a third group that falls somewhere between. This group will never fit into the christian radio machine, which means they will ultimately never really “make it” in christian music, because they can’t find a way reconcile being honest in their musicality as well as their lyric and following the strict rules that christian radio has set. They will also never be successful in the mainstream market because lyrically their songs are far too blatant about their beliefs. Should these bands/artists be punished from both sides for not playing along? Should they loose heart and start to lean one way or the other compromising their craft? It is a weird game to play. On one side you have musicians, who are christians, that are writing songs as if they are playing “Catch Phrase” and they say every description but the one everybody wants to say. You just want to yell “Stop saying ‘Well it’s warm and makes me feel fuzzy and it’s bright and it’s the opposite of dark….’” I just want to shout “Say the word! It’s LIGHT!”. Those christians are being just as dishonest as the christian music producers that slap too much compression on everything to try to keep you from being able to tell there’s no life in the music or the christian staff songwriter who’s focus is strategically placing a lyric in a song to get you to cry instead of writing from a real experience about a real God. There is a unspoken belief that if you want to make technically “good” artistic music you have to do it in a non-christian outlet. There is also an idea that as long as you have the name of Jesus in your song then it should be good enough and the musicality doesn’t have to be current or relevant or interesting. I’m tired of that though. I want music that is great because it has lyrics that are about a great God as well as being creative/artistic/boundary pushing/revealing/challenging/inspiring/gifted music. King David was brought to Saul, in the bible, because he was skilled at what he did. People were talking about him. Word got around and eventually there he was sitting before the king. T. S Eliot says, “Poetry takes something that we know already and turns it into something new.” I want christian music to do this AND be accepted. I want christian musicians who do this to be able to make a living and continue. Ahhhhh…Well that is enough of a rant from me. To leave on a good note…there are bands/artists that I think are doing each of these types of music right. Some making a better living than others because of the machine they are tied to but there is honesty and truth and talent in what they do. Here are a few that come to mind(I realize you might not agree with me on these):

Trudging through mainstream music without watering down their beliefs: Switchfoot

Carefully treading the christian radio water and maintaining life in the music: Phil Wickham

Balancing on the high-wire in between the two: John Mark McMillan

People frequently ask me what music I like to run to so I’ve decided to post a list of a few songs(from the 150) from my current “Running” playlist. This way you can pick and choose some songs from this list and perhaps find yourself on a sunny day running alongside these brilliant musicians as well (I like to imagine that they are all with me on my jog…this makes for funny imagining…Bjork in her swan dress running while singing…Kings of Leon in their ultra-skinny jeans trying to look cool while keeping up with me). So here they are…these are the main ones that make me smile the biggest when I’m out there trudging up one of these crazy hills I’m surrounded by.

The Ladder- Andrew Belle
Love Letter to Japan- Bird and the Bee
Mouth’s Cradle- Bjork
Triumph of A Heart- Bjork (both of these songs are completely vocals. There are no instruments at all other than the instrument of the mouth. So have fun listening and thinking “How in the world did she get these sounds with a mouth and voice????”)
No Phone- Cake
Testify- Carney
Brother Lee- Citizen Cope
Systems of a Trend- Dr. Seahorse
Carbon Ribs-John Mark Mcmillan (This song makes me want to smile and turn my face towards my Savior…careful that your eyes don’t close or get teary if you are running out on the road!)
Crawl- Kings of Leon
Hysteria- Muse
Unnatural Selection- Muse
The Nerve- Mute Math
Backfire- Mute Math
Goodbye- Mute Math
Electrify- Mute Math (This is the cd for you if you are wanting to just listen to one cd an entire upbeat run)
All The Right Moves-One Republic
Marching On- One Republic (Careful running to this song…If you try running to the beat and lyrics you could end up looking like a crazy person)
Carousel- Paper Route
Tiger Teeth- Paper Route
Luscious Life- Patrick Watson
2+2=5-Radiohead (Save the last part of this song for the uphill)
Mess of Me- Switchfoot

Remember this is just some of the current songs in the playlist. Please feel free to send and post your own favorites. This way we can all run inspired together

A couple of shots from my running road with my running partner: